How to teach kids to engage in positive self talk

It is a common phenomenon for kids to feel frustrated about themselves especially if they are struggling academically, withstanding being bullied or not able to make friends.

According to child psychologist , Eric Erickson , between the age groups of 3- 5 years, a child is struggling between initiative versus guilt. During this age, children begin to claim their power and control through leading play and other social interactions. Children who are fruitful at this stage feel adequate and capable to direct others. Those who fail to acquire these abilities possess feelings of guilt and self doubt.

Similarly between ages 6-12 years, the life stage that the child is struggling with is Industry vs inferiority. In this stage , if a child is able to master their school work ,for example, they feel good about themselves but if they are not able to , they develop a sense of inferiority in relation to his or her peers who have mastered the work.

But parents can help kids cope with these negative emotions by teaching them how to engage in positive self talk. This not only gives them emotional support but also enables them to perform better at their tasks.

Some of the ways in which parents can help build this quality in children are:

Create awareness – The first step would involve making them aware of the negative self talk that they might be engaging in. This could be done by maintaining a morning journal and asking them to write a few words about themselves daily

Create a list of positive self talk statements – Creating a list of positive affirmation self talk statements and having it close to their study desk is another way of changing their negative self talk. Some examples of such statements include :

I am enough
I got this
I am intelligent
I love myself
I am better every single day
I can do this

Incorporate crafts as a way to remember positive self talk – Creating simple crafts with positive self-talk can be a great way for kids and young adults to learn positive self-talk. Best of all, kids can keep their craft for times when they need extra support. They can use it to help them start the day on a positive note or when they are feeling anxious, stressed, sad, or angry.

 

Talk about real life challenges and how to face them – Talk about the challenges they are facing Ask questions like, “What can you learn from that situation?”, “What could the positive to that be?”, “What did you do right?” and “How could that help you for the future?”. Try to focus on the positive, what went right, and what can be learned instead of dwelling on the negative. Setbacks and failures are great times to use positive self-talk because they are the prime time for feeling down. Use these real-life situations to show how positive self-talk can help you get back up again when faced with a difficulty or disappointment.

By catching hold of their negative self talk at a tender age and changing it to a positive one can have profound effects on the child while growing up. It helps them develop a positive attitude towards life, instills self confidence and builds resilience. Research has shown that positive self-talk can also help children improve problem solving and decision-making under stress as well. It helps them develop a healthy sense of self which is very important at all stages of life.